(This is a repost from earlier this year)
Is it enough to just be a homemaker and a stay at home mom?
I have always wanted to be a mom. Never have I wanted to have a career in anything other than motherhood. But when I was pregnant with my first son, I got involved in a network marketing company. Going to all the meetings and listening to the training cds, I soon had a different mindset. It was all about the money. I was with this company for about 2 years. I planned parties, and prospected total strangers, I went to meetings several times a month. The main focus was always “get to the next level”, and “when are you getting the car?”. I became so focused on making sales and getting customers that I was slowly losing touch with my identity as a mother and wife.
I took the kids with me to meetings during the day, and left them at night with my husband so I could go to parties or other meetings. My husband and I couldn’t have as many date nights, because I was busy. I started seeing less and less of my husband, and spending less quality time with my kids. I was spending more money on products than I was bringing in in sales. I heard things from prominent leaders in the company, like “you can’t sell from an empty wagon” and “put it on a credit card- you can pay it off when you get to a higher level”.
And all for what? So I could “make it” and become rich? Where were my priorities?
For some reason, I felt like being a stay at home mom and homemaker wasn’t enough. In fact, in my presentations for parties, I would say something along the lines of “I’m so glad to have something to do so I can contribute to the family.” What an awful mindset- that I’m not contributing enough by doing what I do every day as a homemaker.
I started getting pretty stressed. Every person I met was another potential customer. While introducing myself, I’d be thinking of a way to let them know what I did for a living. I called family and friends to try to get them to buy something or host parties for me. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without feeling like I had to do something for my business that day, or it was a waste.
I remember one day when my visiting teachers came over, they asked if there was anything they could do for me, and I just asked them to try my product! (I’m just shaking my head at myself now)
Thankfully, I got a little too stressed and decided to take a step back. Then I started thinking about what I was doing. I wasn’t taking care of the house, because I was too busy going to meetings or prospecting during the day. I didn’t make a good dinner every night, because I was too busy going to parties or meetings. It had become more important to me to get the car and get to the top level in the company than to do what is most important right now- raise my family.
I certainly don’t think there is anything wrong with making a little money at home. But when making money consumes all your thoughts, time and energy, then there needs to be a change.
So what do I do now? I wake up, do my chores and play with the kids. I bake. I make dinner from scratch. I “play” preschool with my little 3 year old. And I love it. I love how things have slowed down. I love being “just” a mom.