I was reading my friend Jaimee’s blog post about weird dates, and it got me thinking about some of my own. I’ll start out with a doozy…
I had seen this guy at singles ward, and I honestly wasn’t interested. He was kinda old, and kinda balding. But when he cornered me at FHE and gave me some sob story about being deployed and I would be his last date, I had to say yes. Big mistake. The date was a treat from start to finish.
The plan for our date was to take me to some sort of party at Ft. Carson, and then out to dinner. He had made reservations at a Moroccan restaurant. When we pulled up to the gate at Ft. Carson, the guard asked for our IDs. I had switched purses, so I didn’t have mine with me. So my date tells the guard that I am his girlfriend. (what?!?) The guard looks at me and says “Okay, what’s your boyfriend’s birthday?”. Of course I had no idea, so my date says “Oh, we’ve only been dating a few weeks.”
Great way to start off a date…
(I have no idea why he decided to lie about it- would they not have let me on base if I was just his date and not his girlfriend?)
We spent way too long at the party, where they were handing out some awards. My date was having too much fun “showing me off” to his friends. One of them even said “nice, man.”- in a suggestive manner. Creepy.
By the time we got out of there, the Moroccan restaurant was closed. So he decided to take me to a German place.
At the restaurant, he was showing off and speaking German to the waitress who didn’t seem too impressed with his skills. When we got our food, I was about to start eating when he grabbed my hands and started praying out loud. Now, there’s nothing wrong with praying before a meal. I just am not a fan of drawing attention to yourself in a restaurant and praying out loud. I’d rather say it in my head.
After dinner, we headed over to a 7-Eleven, and I waited in the car while he grabbed two cups of hot cocoa. Then he told me he was taking me somewhere (it was a surprise). We drove around for almost an hour, because he couldn’t find the place. Finally, he found the road and then it took another half hour or so to make it up to the top of this look-out point. So we were looking at the stars, and he was pointing out the different constellations. He was showing me Orion or something, and he was like “why don’t you come sit in my lap, you can see it much better from here.” Uhhh… “that’s okay, I can see it.”
By this time I was feeling so uncomfortable, and we were still far from home. I was just thinking about how long it was going to take to get home. The story is not over, though. On the way home, he tells me to reach into the middle console and pull out a piece of paper. On it were a bunch of questions that he had printed off the internet. Questions like “what’s your favorite color” and even better, “how many kids do you want”. Seriously. It was like a prospective wife questionnaire. And he told me to read off the questions, and answer them.
I was so relieved when we finally made it home. And honestly, I was kinda glad he was deploying so he couldn’t ask me out again.
This was by far the most memorable date I’ve been on. And unfortunately, memorable isn’t always a good thing.
Here’s how you make it: